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Ditch the Small Talk: 3 Impact Questions For The Dinner Table
Impact thinking served family-style
Read time: 3 minutes
I encounter a problem every Thanksgiving — small talk.
I know it’s part of the dialogue, but if that’s the only type of talk, I feel trapped. Just because it's a holiday (for me in the US) doesn't mean we can't stir up some thought-provoking conversations.
So, I have a solution this year — impact questions.
Let’s pause the business and professional talk for the week. Instead, I’m sharing with you a secret weapon for the dinner table to turn surface-level conversations into impactful dialogue.
When you make people feel smarter, bolder, and fulfilled, they attribute that feeling to you.
(I also shared some posts that will boost your brain-power at the end of this post)
A word of advice: to best stimulate the conversation, be the one to answer the first — it always opens people up.
Question 1: What's something that most people view one way, but you view differently?
Help everyone think big-picture way and share unique views at the table. When someone shares a different perspective, it makes each person reflect on their ideas.
And it broadens perspective without attacking anyone’s point of view.
(I’ll go first — as an example)
Here’s my answer:
Most people believe “rain” is bad weather – I don’t. I find it to be remarkable. Think about it this way: water from all over the world turns into tiny drops and falls from the sky to land on your head. Imagine the odds of those few raindrops in the big picture.
Weather is weather – you are either misinformed or unprepared for the conditions.
Question 2: What’s one seemingly minor event or experience in your life that turned out to have massive takeaways?
Prompt everyone to think critically about a single event. This one is about sharing a story.
It will connect the dots from past to present, and everyone at the table will engage.
(I’ll go first — as an example)
Here’s my answer:
I partnered with a restaurant group four years ago to create a business manifesto. The goal was to distill the organization’s principles and values and put them on paper. I interviewed about 15 people, including the person responsible for baking all the bread for every restaurant.
One morning, I asked if I could join. So, at 2 a.m., I woke up, headed to the restaurant, and learned how to bake bread (from a professional).
The experience amazed me at the valuable life and business lessons that can be learned from such a fundamental process. I can share the specifics in another post.
Question 3: What phrase do you use to creatively emphasize a point (or make it super clear)?
Get everyone to think creatively about their communication – and the nuances of language. Sharing aspects of communication style provides valuable insights into how the brain works.
It equips everyone at the table with a new lens of how you explain complexity.
(I’ll go first — as an example)
Here’s my answer:
I've dedicated considerable time to engaging the right side of my brain this year, learning the nuances of marketing and emotion. I’ve tried to find ways to communicate with a sense of profound clarity (with few words).
Two phrases have resonated with me this year:
"A flashlight in the dark" — Rather than talking about uncovering opportunities or spotting hidden obstacles, I've adopted this phrase to create a tangible image in simple language.
“Punch above your weight class” — Rather than talking about unlocking potential, I’ve used this phrase to show outsized results. Because of imposter syndrome, many people see themselves as David, who has the potential to knock out Goliath.
If you have stories of dinner discussions to share, please send me an email ([email protected]). I’d love to hear the perspectives, stories, and phrases.
Thank you for giving me a few minutes each week to read these posts.
Happy Thanksgiving.
If you want to boost your brain-power even more and help everyone feel smarter, read these:
Welcome to Impact Thinking.
Hi, I’m Peter, a former Harvard strategist turned entrepreneur.
I’ll help you get 14% smarter every Thursday in less than 5 minutes. I teach obsessive-brained, high-achieving entrepreneurs, business owners, and executives how to think with impact.
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